Seriously

Finally Microsoft has realized that office is not important enough that I need to have every application immediately available in my start menu and they created a folder to hold all the office programs. If only adobe would follow suit – how cocky is it of a developer to think that their software is so much greater than the other guys that they will create a folder, but also put a direct link to their program. It makes me want to smack someone and ask them if they just don’t get it.

High Stress

ECE 932 – This class is currently causing me severe amounts of stress… I don’t have a group, a project or a good idea and time to research it for my next presentation on Friday.

My gun broke, the slide catch no longer works… this just sucks, because now I have to spend time going to Gander Mtn. returning it, going back to pick it up, and after all that I still have a fear that it will be a recurring problem.

Summer… yeah, I still haven’t a clue what I’m doing this summer, or next year for that matter. I emailed the right people, but they didn’t email me back. And I can’t really go applying for jobs until I have some clue what I am doing between now and then.

Stereotypes

No stereotype is true all the time, if it were, it would be a fact of life, not a stereotype. Not all stereotypes are bad or wrong either. Lets take an example. I drive to class most days, some days are uneventful, others are littered with people failing to observe the general rules of the road. Now, if I notice that 9 out 10 times that I observe some traffic incident (many of which occur in roundabouts) there is a woman driving, I am going to develop a stereotype that women are bad drivers. Obviously, this is not true because I am sure I pass many women on the road every day whom I pay no attention to because they drive as well as anyone else on the road. But the fact remains, that when I observe a traffic incident there is a 90% chance it is the fault of a woman. Because of this, if I see a traffic accident of some sort, knowing nothing about the driver I’m am going to think it was a woman. Because I am male and I believe no women can drive, or that if it were a man it somehow implies that I’m a bad driver: No. Because statistically, based on my own experience there is a 90% chance that I am correct with that guess and only a fool would go with the 10% option.

Now, the above is entirely fictitious. In the few traffic issues I see, I would estimate that there is equal distribution between men and women, but that’s really not the point here anyway.

So, next time you care to call someone racist, sexist, or any other such label, take a look around you first. If in normal observation, you see a higher percentage of cases agreeing with their view than disagreeing then they may not be prejudice at all, but only logical. It makes more sense to base your opinions on past experience than to ignore that experience in order to be politically correct.

The Penis Game

Alright… you know that ‘game’ where two people take turns saying penis slightly louder than the other until one gets caught. No?… oh well, maybe it’s just a Northern Michigan thing. Anyway, that’s the idea the loudest yelling of “penis” without getting caught wins. Maybe I’m slightly misguided about the rules of the game, it never really made sense to me anyway, but that’s not the issue here.

I was up North a few weeks ago, and we went skiing at Crystal Mountain. Now, on one of the dull rides up the chair I got to audibly witness to young ‘uns engaging in a bout of the penis game, but as far as I could tell, they didn’t quite fully grasp the concept. When there’s two of you on a chairlift, you can’t get caught. Since the danger element of the game was taken out, they played a slightly different way. Basically it was a penis shouting match, both were equally audible, equally stupid, and equally missing the entire point which was not getting caught.

If it were a fair world, they both would have fell off the chair and decapitated each other with their skis when they hit the ground, thus purifying the future of the human race.

Driving

Ok… I admit, I’m not the most amazing driver ever. The fact that my jeep resembles a huge blue golf ball confirms this. However, I follow the general rules and laws of the streets. Specifically, I can comprehend and abide by the governing principle of roundabouts. And, yes, it can be summed up in one principle – stay in your lane. If you do this, and avoid the obvious, like stopping in the middle of the damn thing, you will navigate the roundabout correctly. Now, what all does this one simple guiding rule imply:

1. If I am in the roundabout and you are in the right lane approaching it: If I stay in my lane, and you stay in yours then I can leave the roundabout at any time without worrying about hitting you.

2. If I am in the right lane and you are in the roundabout: I should be able to make my right turn regardless of what you are doing with out the risk of being broadsided by you, because you stay in the left (middle) lane.

3. If I am in the roundabout and you are in the left lane: If you have room to pull out in front of me, do it. If not, don’t. This works like any other time you are trying to enter moving traffic.

4. CATA busses are the root of all evil, since they do not seem to be capable of staying in one lane when entering or exiting a roundabout. If anyone has the motivation and willingness to bus bomb a few CATA busses you will be my personal hero for a week.

As usual, if everyone does it right, roundabouts are quite efficient and safe. It’s when you get that lone stupid person who disrupts the flow that all hell breaks loose. Other cases where this applies:

People going too slow on highways or freeways – slower is not better folks, you just became an obstacle for everyone else.

People getting into the left turn lane a quarter mile before their left turn – not what it’s for, someone coming the other way might actually want to use that lane the right way, but now your hurdling at them at full speed just asking to cause a wreck.

People who drive while entirely consumed with another activity, for some this can be as simple as talking on a phone – if you can’t multi-task well enough to talk on a phone and drive, then don’t, and if you do, you deserve to die in a fiery ball of twisted metal, just make sure you get in a wreck with a telephone pole or something inanimate.

People who drive when they’re not actually driving – guess what, you’re not giving valuable advice, your a distraction, shut up.

People who insist they know what you should have done if an accident does happen – guess what, looking back everyone can see what they should have done, would you have done it right the first? Odds are against it.

I swear someday I’m just going to hit someone in a roundabout. I’ll see them coming, realize they’re going to cross that nice double line and just keep going in my left lane. Hopefully taking out their front end. Like my jeep couldn’t handle a few more dents.

Speaking of white lines, if you need help with the concept of roundabouts, go look at the one on Shaw Lane and Bogue. The lines apply to all roundabouts, even if they’re not painted on. If you still don’t understand, take another look – preferably as a CATA bus comes through and squashes your head like a bug.

But I am le’tired

So sleepy, so sleepy… and six hours of proctoring ahead of me… so fun, so fun.

I’ve spent a lot of time screwing with my web page in the last week or so… most of the work was converting old stuff to use css – writing enough styles to display a resume in css, now that’s a bitch and a half of a task.

Now, that’s interesting… what if something really is a bitch and a half, what do you do with the half? You can think of bitch and either an evil woman or a female dog, but for this analysis, I’ll stick with the canine variety to avoid pissing off too many people. Plus, with the canines, you might have sympathy for a dog and a half, where as for evil women, most people don’t have much sympathy for one, let alone and extra half so they just wouldn’t be around long enough to be of consequence.

So anyway, you’ve got a dog and a half:

First off, which half do you have? The head half, the ass half, the left half or the right half? This isn’t even to mention cutting the dog on a diagonal that’s a whole new barrel of monkeys. Which would be a whole different species, so we aren’t going to go there. Since bitch implies female dog, I suppose the head half would not be defining enough, thus you must have the ass half or a left or right half. Now, since the ass half of a dog wouldn’t survive long without being able to eat, I suppose it is safe to conclude that the half a bitch must be a left or right half. Since the heart is on the left and that tends to be necessary for survival we shall conclude that to have half a bitch, you must have the left half of a female dog.

Second question, are they attached? Is it like one dog with half a dog growing out of it’s side? If so wouldn’t that just be one single large odd looking dog? Or maybe Siamese dogs with one only half developed and only attached at a point. Still, due to natural selection and dog with another half dog attached wouldn’t last long… if having an extra half a dog presented an evolutionary advantage, we’d have them all over. So, I’m going to conclude that somehow a bitch and half implies one full dog and another separate half a dog.

Now, for what you do with your bitch and a half, now that we know the physical characteristics? The full bitch, I suppose you could treat much like any other dog, teach it to fetch, heel, sit, stay, etc. On to the half a bitch… first off, how would it get around? I would assume it would work kinda like a full dog, only with less low speed stability. If we look at it like a motorcycle vs. a car, the two legged (wheeled) one is generally faster, can corner better, but cannot stand still. It can tip over still, but not stand, so I suppose you’d have a dog which could run like the wind, pull a button hook at 60 mph, but would have to lay down if still. There’s always the problem that dogs don’t have centrifugal force to keep them upright like wheels on a bike, but never mind that for now. Must make it hard to eat, having to lay down, or be running with a feed bag around it’s head.

What about teaching it to fetch, and all those other great things you do with a dog? Well, fetching could be an issue. Sure, running so fast would be great, but think about a four legged dog carrying a Frisbee, nothing special right?… Now thing about a two legged dog carrying a Frisbee, it can’t go too slow or it’ll tip over, but it can’t go fast or the Frisbee will be an issue, much like trying to carry a nice piece of plywood on a motorcycle – yeah, it just doesn’t happen. I guess you’d just have to limit it to a tennis ball or something… but even that could be an issue with only half a mouth, what would keep the ball from falling out the non-existent side? So, I guess in conclusion the half a dog could be a real problem, quite possibly so much so as to be more of a bitch than the full dog.

Now were at a paradox of sorts… is it possible that being half a bitch could be more of a bitch than being a full bitch? Leave your comments, although I seriously doubt any comments will be even close to as insightful as this entry has been.

Sometimes I think I should be a columnist for the State News… like right now, it’s one of those times.

iPods

I recognize that the iPod was more or less the original HDD MP3 and other music player, and I realize that it’s design is wonderfully compact. Given this, I still don’t really like it. Why…
1. I don’t find that ‘wheel’ comfortable to use, and I like some sort of tactile response from a control unit, not just knowing that some internal thing is sensing if my finger moves. Having messed with one, I’m semi-disappointed with it’s accuracy – I did not like how often it jumped two menu items down when I only tried to go one down.
2. I cannot just drag and drop files to it, I must use MusicMatch or iTunes.
3. I must browse my music based on ID3 tag, not by directory and filename. ID3 tags are nice and good to use, but not something I care to rely on.
4. The low resolution of the screen, or at least the poor use of it. There’s space there that could be used for displaying something useful.
5. Lack of a user adjustable equalizer.
6. Too few buttons, I know simplicity is good, but a few more buttons would eliminate my having to guess what one to use for functions. To expand on this, the same 4 buttons with LCD displays behind them would be absolutely amazing since they could have many different functions and the functions could be shown not guessed at, think soft buttons on a phone or calculator one generation more advanced.

One thing I do like about the iPod is that using the wheel to scroll through a list of a thousand songs is amazingly great. The iPod picks up that my finger is moving faster and skips faster through the list, and there’s no delay like having to hit a button and have the device pick up the fact that you held the button and didn’t let it go.

Also, they are still one of the smallest sleekest designs out there for 10gb and up players.

Basically if the iPod would let me mess with my files directly instead of having to use some shit software and if they replaced the wheel with a scroll bar of sorts which scrolled faster as you moved further from center I’d probably have bought that instead of the iRiver player.

Now, as for the iRiver, likes and dislikes on that…

Likes:
1. It lets me directly manipulate files, without any stupid DRM issues or such garbage.
2. Hardware capabilities such as recording from the built in Mic, a external Mic or line in, and optical input and output.
3. It sounds great and has a user settable equlizer.
4. Although not as absolutely simple, I think the menus etc. are much more intuitive to use.

Dislikes:
1. For as great as the hardware is, it’s under-supported by the firmware. I mean it took two updates to get the shuffle mode working reasonably well, for such a basic feature that’s pretty sad. It would be great if someone developed a replacement firmware like was developed for the Archos.
2. The joystick is a little small and slick, it would be better as a cupped d-pad of sorts so one could use it like a joystick but pressing on the sides would not be like clicking the joystick but like pushing it to the side. Yeah, I know that description is about as clear as shit.
3. Using a joystick to scroll through a great number of songs is a pain. It needs some form of accelerated scrolling feature.

Things I like

To offset the hatred spewed forth to the world in my last post, I’ll list things I like.

1. Anything that goes boom. And by this I pretty much mean bombs or guns.

2. Any tech gadget I can get my hands on. I have a PocketPC… do I have any real use for it which wouldn’t be served by a small notpad… hell no, but it’s cool.

3. Star Wars – the movies are good, but there are three main points which I like above all others:
light sabers – if one is ever fabricated, I am sure it will be the most wonderful thing on earth.
x-wing fighters – just because it would be awesome to have something with which you could single-handedly lay the entire US air force to waste. And, yes, they’re that good.
the force – if light sabers are the epitome of an awesome item, telekinetics and telepathy are the epitome of awesomeness itself.

4. My car… no justification, I just like it.

5. Mitsubishi 3000GT’s – they’re like the better looking parts of a corvette and a viper put together into an overall smaller car. And they’re fast.

6. College scholarships because they kept me from being wonderfully in debt.

7. Beer. Not sure why, but it seems that in any list of good things beer gets listed, so I figured it better be in my list.

Ok.. back to things I hate.

1. People who get an award and thank God. I have no issue with thanking God, but it seems just a bit disingenuous coming from someone who’s accepting an award for a “song” about smacking his bitches around.

2. People who ask questions but aren’t interested in the answer. This is related to, but not the same as useless conversation. These people ask your opinion on something just to give themselves a chance to impose their opinions on you.

Things I Hate

1. Stupid people – and by this, I do not mean people who aren’t as knowledgeable in a specific field as me, I mean people who just don’t get it and probably never will.

2. SUV’s driven by people who never intend to go off road, haul or tow anything. Particularly humorous in this category are the 5 ft. tall women who drive an SUV larger than their house. Not that it’s any worse for a small woman to drive an SUV than anyone else – they’re all equally useless, this case is just funnier to me.

3. People who don’t understand that a double white line in a roundabout is NOT TO BE CROSSED. If I’m making a right turn, I shouldn’t have to wait for anyone except the guy directly in front of me – who’s also making a f****** right turn. People in the circle should be able to exit at any point without worrying about the people making an immediate right turn. You see, that’s how it works, right lane turns right, the left lane circles around until they care to exit (still in the left lane).

4. People who have good jobs in electrical engineering. Because they have one and I want one damn it. Of course, I’ll put off hating you if there’s a chance you’ll help me get a job.

5. Snotty, bratty kids in TV commercials. Spy Kids the movie as also included here because it’s as stupid and annoying as a TV commercial.

6. Useless conversation, this kinds that you know is leading to absolutely nothing that there is any reason to remember beyond the end of the conversation. Many of these take the form of casual greetings such as “Hey, how’s it goin’?.” No, you don’t care so don’t ask. Believe me, I’d rather you not ask than try to make it look like you care, you’re not that convincing of an actor.

7. Insistence on saying he/she, or spelling women as womyn. In both cases, the existing method has been around for years, no-one is trying to offend you by it, get over it already. Changing shit like this doesn’t get your point across, it makes you look like a whiny piece of shit who’s opinion I rapidly disregard – congrats.

8. People who refuse to back down in an argument even if they know they’re wrong due to proof being presented by the other side. Any, no, I’m not talking about complex arguments where many people can have different views and never truly prove themselves or others right or wrong. I’m talking about trivial bullshit that no one really cares about in the first place. Maybe I just need to let it go… that might do me good… but then again, maybe it’s better to keep arguing and watch them be stupid, you never know depends on the mood at the time.

9. Nextel phones and their stupid chirping nationwide walkie talkie BS.

10. People who install every piece of garbage software the some half brained high schooler sends their way, then complain that their computer is slow and infested with spy ware. No shit… you did it to yourself.

11. Phonetic spelling of any sort when used by anyone above age 10. Phonetic spelling of simple words, even when done by kids under the age of 10. Learn to spell and type, it’s not that hard. “where r u?” – now neither ‘are’ nor ‘you’ are hard words to spell or type.

12. People who speak in chat room acronyms… it’s one thing to type LOL in instant messenger, quite another to start saying it to friends instead of actually laughing.

13. People who don’t clean up after themselves. Come on, I don’t like your mess any more than you do, and you’re the one who made it.

14. Anyone who exists in a state of constant excitement. Life can be exciting, but it isn’t always so you shouldn’t be either.

15. Cigarette smoking… yep, it’s still disgusting and I still hate it. Cigars and marijuana are OK though.

16. Explosive devices that don’t work, because then you have a dilemma… leave it for an hour to make sure it’s really a dud, or go get it and see what went wrong – risking your left hand in the process.

17. The fact that CMT plays more artist interviews, and ’40 greatest songs of …’ than actual current, or even not so current country music videos.

18. The fact that BET exists. It’s not music, it’s just a bunch of women shaking their asses. Also, all the women who complain about the spelling of women or the use of he as the generic pronoun… this seems that it would be much more degrading than the use of an ‘e’ vs. a ‘y’. Please consider and redirect your efforts.

19. Useless movies which leaving you feeling that you should have been paid to waste your time in such a fashion. Torque, Matrix III and Wrong Casa rate near the top of this list.

At this point, I’m sure there are a lot more things out there for me to hate, and I’m sure I missed some very important ones but I’m bored of this…